CHAPTER 6: AGAPE - A NEW FORM OF LOVING


We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.
Brother Lawrence
[1]

It would have been hard for any of us to simply live by one kind of “loving” mentioned in the previous chapter; storge would destroy us through its jealousy, philia would elevate us to a false sense of godliness, and eros would either elevate our beloved or destroy them by becoming a demon. As we see, none of those loves can exist on their own; they need additional and foundational help which would allow them to stand the test of time. That foundation for storge, philia and eros is formed by agape. Fairly new on the Ancient market, agape survived the test of time and allowed for many marriages and happy lives spent together, many friendships to last beyond high school and affection given to others more than it was received. Agape is the foundation which, if accepted and practiced, will keep all of the loves in one stable, successful and fulfilling way. Agape is the basic foundation for storge, philia and eros, just like any other strong foundation would be for a building. Agape is strong because it has survived the test of times, through war and inner conflicts.
Agape is a term used to describe external attitude toward an object, thus it must be physically expressed, but it starts with the inner attitude which “seeks after something” or “desires someone or something.”
[2] The meaning of agape has always been unclear as it is a new term introduced to describe a certain ideology, which cannot be easily described in words. What is known for sure, it did not mean the simplicity of storge, the connections of philia nor the sexual desires of eros. Agape could be translated as “to prefer” one thing above the other or “to esteem one person more highly than another”, such as, “preference of God for a particular man”, as this finally is the Christian practice of “love.”[3] It is then, a “love” which makes distinctions between objects and has the freedom, which we lacked in eros, to choose and keep to its objects. Often it is translated as “to show love”, because it is an attitude of active giving on the other’s behalf.[4] This may seem like an impossible behavior, but that is what agape demands from a follower of Christ, and it becomes possible only by the power of God working within a believer.[5]

Agape is nothing like the Ancient loves, because agape is all of those loves in one and even more. Agape is a conscious decision one makes to give of oneself (one’s time, one’s heart, one’s resources, one’s companion etc.) to the other, whom many times one cannot naturally “love” on one’s own terms. Once the “love” of agape has been directed toward an object, the “loving one” will find pleasure in that object and will prize it above all other things; the “loving one” will be unwilling to abandon it or do without it; even if the object is not attractive, the “loving one” will find worth in the object itself, as that is what agape is - it recognizes worth in the object.[6] This is only possible through agape, as it is a divine love; “love excelling.”[7]

Agape is meant to distinguish church-going people from non-church-going people and is meant to set them apart by the standards of life and emphasized values, and yet this “distinguished” community hopes that their brotherhood will broaden, as it is open to all and it desires all.[8] Church-going people believe that men are related to God by creation and resemblance of His good works, therefore each man can be “loved” through this view that he is a “work” of God Himself and, he is capable of happiness and that “love” of God can be found in him.[9] Agape had in mind a new moral relationship between one another; it accepted the rejected ones, it loved the unlovable and it gave to those who had nothing, not necessarily because this was their own heart’s desire, but because this is what the standard of Christian “loving” meant.[10] How can this be possible? By loving the Creator more than the creatures, one was able to “love” the creatures more than one could on one’s own terms.[11] Lewis further says, that in order to “love” others in this giving-of-ourselves way, we must become vulnerable, and realize that our heart might be broken by the other not giving the same pure affection or their lack of connection. This way of “loving” is a giving-of-ourselves, because Christ has given of himself to us.

This kind of “loving,” unlike the other loves, is not somehow conceived in human nature. It can only come as a gift of God who is agape.[12] For the first time in Greek thought it was possible to imagine this “love-relationship” between a god and a man (remember - eros was the closest, and the only way, through sexual expression, that a man could be connected with a god). So the primitive Believers when speaking of being “loved” by their God, meant personal experience of “intercourse with God himself” who desired such “intercourse” with them.[13] But how could they explain it to this new and growing community around them? Thankfully, to the writers of the New Testament, Christ was a greater part of their lives than he can ever be for us today, because they have either had a physical fellowship with him, or lived in a more current period around his time and the stories of who He was and what He did, were “fresher” and more “real” perhaps, than they can seem today. This means that New Testament writers knew that Jesus claimed to be the Son of God and therefore, if God was the Father of Jesus, He was the Father of all human kind.[14] The words Father and Son imply a relationship just as is the term “beloved” and that relationship between men and a God (shown through Christ) who cared about them, was exactly what first Christians wanted to share and spread.[15]

This relationship with God was not only new but also inspiring, because if God so loved His Son, how much more was he willing to “love” us? When church-going people realized this, they decided to give back to this God, as the relationship with Him was the desire of all previous ages, and because what this Christian God had to offer was more than what Eros was capable of; a relationship; He offered agape. This is why this “love” disposed the church people to behave toward God, as child to a father, because that is the example Christ has set before us and those who witnessed it, called it agape.

Copyright © 2007 by Dorota Krzyzaniak
All rights reserved

[1] Source unknown.
[2] Kittel, 36.
[3] Ibid., 37.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Pamudji, 46.
[6] Ibid., 28.
[7] G.C.D., Howley, F.F., Bruce, H.L., Ellison, eds., The New Layman’s Bible Commentary in one Volume (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1979), 1663.
[8] Stephen, G., Post, A Theory of Agape, on the Meaning of Christian Love (London: Associate university Press, 1990), 83.
[9] Lottie, H., Kendzierski, trans., and intro., Saint Thomas Aquinas, On Charity (Milwaukee: Marquette University Press, 1960), 101.
[10] Moffat, 44.
[11] Lewis, Loves, 139.
[12] Victor, Paul, Furnish, The Love Command in the New Testament (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1972), 155.
[13] Moffat, 60.
[14] Ernest, DeWitt, Burton, New Testament Word Studies, edited by Harold, R., Willoughby (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1927), 21.
[15] Moffat, 78.

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